I am sick of being silenced in fear of offending. Honesty is valued as long as it is politically correct and unoffensive. I am a self-aware person with strong opinions that I like to share. In being self-aware, I know that these opinions are mine and not everyone will agree, nor should they. Occasionally people on the receiving end do not realise this and it often ends in misinterpretation. In saying this I would never say anything to intentionally upset someone.
Edinburgh has been taken over and the ground has been littered with performer's hopes and dreams in flyer form. That's right Ladies and Gentlemen The Fringe Festival has arrived and the streets they are a bustling. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Fringe, it is a month long festival that takes place in Edinburgh every August. Over 40,000 shows, across over 350 venues, everything from comedy to poetry to cabaret is available at your culture craving little finger tips. You can't walk around the city without having flyers thrust into your hands. I have so many right now, I could be one of the promoters. Some of my favourites I have attended so far are below and have been part of The Free Festival.
From time to time I get in an unhealthy headspace. Like everyone, right? It happens. This particular headspace I am talking about tends to occur after a group conversation, first meeting or for a long time it would happen after every single social situation. I would leave these situations feeling awkward, frustrated and upset. Mainly I was upset with myself for not letting my truth speak or confidently expressing who I was. For years I have feared confrontation and through this I have learned to bottle my opinions to avoid it. As I have gotten older i have found myself fighting to be heard and trying to find a way to effectively communicate my views and ideas. I think this can also be referred to as youngest child syndrome haha! It is all well and good that I began speaking up for myself, but the way I was measuring my progress and the value of my opinion was far more damaging to my self esteem than when I was keeping them to myself. I would find validity in myself and my thoughts through the feedback of those I was sharing them with. I would get frustrated that I couldn't adequately get my point across. When someone didn't understand where I was coming from it would take a hard hit on my self worth. If people didn't like what I had to say then I felt I was not worthy and what I had to say was not valid. My thinking would spiral into a black hole because (as you could have guessed) I am a chronic worrier. At heart I am a timid, under-sharer who is scared of rejection. But no longer will I put my validity in other people's hands. I want my power and ability to speak my mind back from the timid girl who stole it and buried it. Other people's achievements do not determine my validity, I do. Hierarchy does not determine my validity, I do. Status does not determine my validity, I do. My opinion is valid because I said so and so is yours.
Every city has its quirks. The little things that make it unique, terrible, weird or amazing. After walking the streets for a long period of time and emerging into the city life it won't take long until you pick up what they are. I was able to pick up on Edinburgh's quirks especially quick as I was dodging one of them constantly from day one.
People weren't lying when they said Scottish weather is miserable. The last few weeks I have had a bad case of cabin fever. It's either raining, snowing or just too damn cold to go outside. I've been able to go out for a few hours at a time before it gets dark (at 3.30PM may I add, still not used to that) to see the best of what Edinburgh has to offer which included a graveyard.
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We've been working for the past few months to create something that was tidier, more personal and somewhere I could have all my writing in one place. You'll find new regular ramblings as well as all my previous posts which are archived on the right hand side for your convenience. I
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A writer, explorer, and music enthusiast. This site is where I share my thoughts, aspirations, adventures, and mishaps.