I am sick of being silenced in fear of offending. Honesty is valued as long as it is politically correct and unoffensive. I am a self-aware person with strong opinions that I like to share. In being self-aware, I know that these opinions are mine and not everyone will agree, nor should they. Occasionally people on the receiving end do not realise this and it often ends in misinterpretation. In saying this I would never say anything to intentionally upset someone.
From time to time I get in an unhealthy headspace. Like everyone, right? It happens. This particular headspace I am talking about tends to occur after a group conversation, first meeting or for a long time it would happen after every single social situation. I would leave these situations feeling awkward, frustrated and upset. Mainly I was upset with myself for not letting my truth speak or confidently expressing who I was. For years I have feared confrontation and through this I have learned to bottle my opinions to avoid it. As I have gotten older i have found myself fighting to be heard and trying to find a way to effectively communicate my views and ideas. I think this can also be referred to as youngest child syndrome haha! It is all well and good that I began speaking up for myself, but the way I was measuring my progress and the value of my opinion was far more damaging to my self esteem than when I was keeping them to myself. I would find validity in myself and my thoughts through the feedback of those I was sharing them with. I would get frustrated that I couldn't adequately get my point across. When someone didn't understand where I was coming from it would take a hard hit on my self worth. If people didn't like what I had to say then I felt I was not worthy and what I had to say was not valid. My thinking would spiral into a black hole because (as you could have guessed) I am a chronic worrier. At heart I am a timid, under-sharer who is scared of rejection. But no longer will I put my validity in other people's hands. I want my power and ability to speak my mind back from the timid girl who stole it and buried it. Other people's achievements do not determine my validity, I do. Hierarchy does not determine my validity, I do. Status does not determine my validity, I do. My opinion is valid because I said so and so is yours.
A writer, explorer, and music enthusiast. This site is where I share my thoughts, aspirations, adventures, and mishaps.